It is honestly tough for me to think back to the last time I have been in a conflict. Most of my conflicts are minor squabbles over sports with my buddies after a few drinks have been imbibed. I tend to avoid conflict at nearly any cost, often admitting I am in the wrong if a conflict is broached with me or just letting things go if I am on the other side. Now I hear all the time that this is an unhealthy way to deal with things but I must note I am not simply bottling things up. There is a process I go through to come to terms with the issue.
I generally ask myself a series of questions about the issue and my reaction relies on these answers. First, is this worth my time or am I going to be content about spending even more time trying to resolve this issue? This is a big one and I usually end up with a big no here and let the issue settle. Next, if I have decided I want to pursue the issue further, I'll break down what is really at stake here. If it is just my pride or is actually mentally/physically harming me, I will tend to take action on the conflict. If it is simply a nuisance but not actually affecting my life in a significant manner, I let it go, realizing it really isn't important in the grand scheme of things.
Getting back to the exercise at hand. My last major conflict was probably during college with a professor who was also my advisor, basically a guidance counselor. While he meant well and I appreciated him reaching out to me as, I think, he saw potential, we ended up at an impasse. The source of the conflict was that he suggested making major changes to my lifestyle whereas I was more than content with my choices and felt they were what defined who I was. In a sense, I felt like he wanted to make or suggest decisions for me and I thought that meant he would be defining who I was.
I was initially angry as I felt he was undermining my competence. My independent nature was rearing its head and I didn't want this outside influence determining what I should be. The issue in my mind was that my professor believed that change was necessary but I did not see it the same way. I was completely content with my choices and was resistant to his suggestions. After recognizing this tendency of mine to want to handle things all on my own, I raised my concerns with him. This led to a discussion that basically ended with us remaining on our own respective sides of the conflict but at least the air had been cleared. Looking back, I wish I could have been more receptive to his advice (he was after all my advisor) and while I think I have since taken some steps toward what he believed, more could have been done. It wasn't the end of the world though, I mean, I graduated and have been happily employed, but I occasionally dream of the potential that my professor must have seen.